


satellites are dumb

by sadcelestial



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Adult Eddie Kaspbrak, Adult Richie Tozier, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Married Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Trick or Treating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 17:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21201617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadcelestial/pseuds/sadcelestial
Summary: richie and eddie's first time giving out candy during halloween and it's quite the adventure.





	satellites are dumb

**Author's Note:**

> look eddie is alive okay, he told me himself

The candle sat on the white, marble coffee table was about three-fourths in as it was the 31st of October. The small fire calmly danced, filling the house with the scent of spiced pumpkin. Though, after being haunted by a clown for years, Halloween wasn't very appealing anymore, but it was hard to resist celebrating it.

After Richie started to write his own material for his stand-up shows, his audience expanded, resulting his very own Netflix comdey special. Richie was extremely grateful, obviously, but he didn't let the fame and success get over his head. He bought a house in Chicago for him and Eddie. It was beautiful house, perfect, actually. It was a four bedroom house— guest rooms, just in case the rest of the losers came to visit.

Richie had a thing for interior design, which Eddie was surprised, considering his fashion sense. And Richie was pretty damn good at it, too. Richie decided to decorate the house for Halloween, with the help of Eddie criticizing everything "scary" in Target.

"Dude, what the fuck is this," Eddie picks up a fake skeleton rat figure.

"It's a dead rat. What, you think it's lame?" Richie grabs it from Eddie's hand and places on Eddie's head.

"After surviving a stabbing from a clown-spider," the skeleton rat figure falls from Eddie's head and into the red cart, "everything here is fucking lame."

Now the skeleton rat figure is sat next to the candle, because Richie loves pissing off his husband. There's also purple and orange LED lights framing the inside and outside of the front door. Fake spider webs wrapped on many surfaces, of course. They've had the candy bowls set out on the kitchen's bar since the beginning of the month— and extra bags of candy in a drawer, just in case. On their front yard, they have inflatables of a couple of ghosts and one of Snoopy wearing a witch's costume because they thought it was cute. The side walk is aligned with pathway lights of smiling, orange pumpkins. Also, Richie being an asshole, put a tall mirror on the outside of the front door. 

"Stop moving, Richie, or I'm going to poke your fucking eye out." Eddie holds Richie's face as he applies red eyeshadow on his eyelids. The sun was almost setting and they were putting their costumes together before the kids knock on their door.

"Ow- not gonna lie, dude, I think you already did," Richie squints at the pressure of the brush.

"Sorry," Eddie quickly kisses Richie's forehead and puts a red hat on Richie's head, "There, I think you're done! Open your eyes."

Eddie turns the chair around so that Richie's facing the bathroom's mirror. Richie opens his eyes and there's five seconds of silence before he speaks, "Whoa, Eddie..."

"You like it or wh- ," Eddie is smiling but then gets cut off when Richie turns around and looks at Eddie.

"I look like your mom."

"Oh, fuck you- ,"

"Aw, no, Eddie, sorry," Richie stands up and embraces Eddie, placing his chin on his shoulder, "I love it. I look like a hot Mrs. Claus."

Richie looses his embrace on Eddie so that he can look at him, "But not as hot as my husband, Santa." Richie says as he leans in to kiss Eddie. He can feel Eddie smiling against his lips and the fake, white beard lightly touching the bottom of his chin since Eddie had it on his neck for now. When they pull away, Eddie has a red lipstick stain from Richie, but Richie just smiles and decides not to tell him.

"You really have me dressing up as Santa Claus on Halloween. It's so fucking stupid, man." Eddie lets go of Richie so that he can grab his Santa hat and Richie's glasses from the bathroom counter. He hands the glasses to Richie and he puts on the hat.

"Yeah, it is," Richie pushes his glasses on, "That's why it's so fucking hilarious."

🎃

It was the first ring of the evening. Richie and Eddie open the door to two kids, one dressed as Yoda and the other as Darth Vader.

"Hey, guys. Awesome costumes!" Richie is honestly so psyched and gives both kids a couple of candies in their baskets. Then he sees Eddie drop something in their baskets that he didn't notice he was holding until that moment.

"After you guys finish eating your candies, please pinky promise me you'll brush your teeth." Eddie squats down so he can be at eye level with them. Both of the kids pinky promise him and Eddie smiles. Richie was going to step-in and apologize on his behalf that his husband was giving out toothbrushes, but instead he got so distracted looking at him making pinky promises with these kids. His chest swelled with fondness and he couldn't help it but smile. If Eddie kept being this sweet to the rest of the kids they give out candy, Richie is going to die.They say bye to the first kids of the night and close the door.

"Okay, now what shit are you going to tell me, huh? Are you going to laugh at me? I care about these kids dental hygiene, alright, sue me! Why the fuck are you so quiet? Are you smiling, dickwad?"

Richie sighs, "I can't wait to marry you twenty more times, you idiot."

The evening continues and Richie is sure he dies every time Eddie pinky promises a kid. So many of the children loved Eddie, even the shy ones would smile and seemed to get comfortable. Eddie just had that charm. Plus, they weren't those assholes who forced the kids to say "trick-or-treat" in order to receive candy.

"Trick-or-treat! Smell your mom's feet!" Richie opens the door while Eddie is in the kitchen filling up the bowl again with candies. He's smiling but it falters when he doesn't hear or see the three kids laughing. They seem to be middle schoolers. The silence was awkward as Richie darted his eyes to each kid for a reaction.

"Tough crowd, huh?" Richie finally says.

"What are you even dressed-up as?" The boy in the middle instantly speaks. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mea- ," Richie glances down at his costume and pinches a bit of cloth between his fingers, "I'm Mrs. Claus!" 

The three kids laugh and Richie is now the confused one.

"That's lame as shit." The kid in middle speaks again.

Richie quietly gasps as the kids start laughing again. Eddie walks into the conversation when Richie replies back.

"Hey, no cussing! Where the hell are your parents?" Well, as a kid, he was always out in the streets without his parents, so he'd be hypocritical. But he has a right to be concerned of these children safety when you grew up in a shitty town with a rabid, space clown on the loose.

"Wait. What did I miss?" Eddie looks at everyone expecting an answer, but instead he receives laughter from the kids.

"Bro, and you're dressed-up as Santa Claus" The boy points at Eddie, "That's so stupid! What are you guys married or something?"

Richie was so stunned on how rude this kid was. Was he this much of a pain in the ass when he was his age? Holy shit, man. Richie had to restrain himself from hitting this kid's basket out of his tiny hands. Before he could even reply, he heard Eddie's voice.

"Hell yeah, that's my husband!" He points at Richie with his free hand, "And, yeah, this is so, so, so stupid, but that's what makes it hilarious! And why are you even talking, dude, like what even are you? Are you supposed to be foil paper?" 

The silence settled between the stares everyone was giving each other. Eddie kept his eyes on the kid, waiting for a response. The boy's eyes constantly bounced to the ground and back to Eddie. The two other kids, who were dressed-up as M&M's, looked at each other awkwardly. And Richie's face was blank as he stared at his husband lower his fake Santa beard, just to straight up obliterate this mean seventh grader. Richie's eyes then scanned the boy's costume when his mind processed the last thing Eddie said.

"Oh yeah, what are you?" Richie casually pointed.

"I'm a satellite, you morons." The kid finally managed to spit out.

Richie and Eddie looked at each other with neutral faces, for a second, and then back at the boy.

"Excuse me, and you're making fun of us, why?" Richie says but he can't push himself to make fun of this kid.

"You know, what- whatever, here," Richie grabs candies and three toothbrushes from the bowl Eddie is holding with his left arm, "take this." He distributes the things to each of their Halloween baskets.

"Now, scram." Richie calmly says and he waves his hands towards them. The kids begin to walk away, muttering under their breath, being inaudible as the distance lengthens between them.

"You were lucky enough Mrs. Claus is a sweetheart, but be on a look out for coal in your stocking from me!" Eddie says loud enough for the kids to hear and he closes the door.

The house grows silent for a moment, but the air conditioner boosts on, white noise filling the place and their ears. Eddie sighs and takes off the hat and the fake beard. He walks over to the living room's coffee table and sets the things down next to the skeleton rat figure. Eddie slumps down on the couch. Richie follows after locking the door. He leans over the coffee table to grab a Twizzlers from the bowl. He takes it out of the wrapper and takes a bite out of it as he sits down next to Eddie, nonchalantly staring at him.

"What?" Eddie turns to face Richie when he can feel his eyes on him.

Richie took another bite and got comfortable next to Eddie. He placed his feet on the coffee table and leaned against him, his head on Eddie's shoulder.

"That kid really dressed-up as a fucking satellite, Eddie."

"Oh my- I lost my fucking mind when he said that! I couldn't believe it, man! The Mars Rover is a better idea, like what an idiot." Eddie couldn't hold in his laughter after saying those last words and Richie was already dying of laughter that he was snorting, and that makes Eddie laugh more.

Their laughter died after a minute and it was back to the air conditioner's white noise. The sky was getting darker and the streets were emptying, resulting to no more kids ringing the doorbell. Richie chewed on the last of the Twizzlers, while Eddie got Richie's left hand and played with his fingers. The candle appeared to be less than it was earlier, but not giving up just yet. 

"Hey, Eds." Richie never moved his head away from Eddie's shoulder.

"Hm."

"I did something despicable." 

"What?" Eddie stops fidgeting Richie's fingers and listens.

"I only gave a shit load of butterscotch candy to that kid." Richie says, tilting his head to look at Eddie. Eddie smiles and huffs out a laugh.

"You know, I wouldn't mind doing this again next year, with you."

"Well, Eddie, bullying kids is part of the marriage oath, so good thing you enjoy it."


End file.
